TV ANNOUNCER: And now back to Crustacean Crime Theatre.
( snoring )
( evil laughter )
( gasps )
( laughing )
Stop! Thief!
Which way did he go?
He went that way!
Let's get 'em, boys!
( police yelling )
Curses! Foiled again!
What a no-good eel in the kelp that guy was!
There ain't nothin' worse than a thief!
Thieves need to be locked up forever!
They should all be strung up by their gills
and forced to breathe air!
But Mr. Krabs?
What about all the stuff you stole?
What do you mean?
Like that barrel.
It says "Property of Salty Sea Farms."
Oh! That's where I rent me pickles from!
Are you renting the barrel?
Well... no.
Then you bought it?
No.
Then isn't that stealing?
Well, I, uh...
What about this towel from
the Sizzling Spring Sauna?
Um... well... And this Bikini Bell phone?
Well, uh, it's... And Sandy's hedge clippers?
Oh, they're... And Plankton's lawnmower?
Well, he... Even Mrs. Puff's hair curlers?
That one was a gift. Listen...
All that stuff is, uh... borrowed.
Borrowed? Well, that's a relief.
I thought you took it without permission.
Ah, permission shmermission!
You can borrow anything you want, anytime,
as long as you get it back before it's missed!
Everyone knows that! Right?
Okay! Okay!
All right, then! Hugs?
You put in a hard day's work, boys!
PATRICK: But I don't work here.
See ya later!
Oh, that was a close one.
SPONGEBOB: What do you want to do today?
I don't know.
What do you want to do today?
I don't know.
What do you want to do today?
I don't know.
What do you want to do today?
I don't know.
What do you want to do today?
( gasps )
I know what I want to do today!
I need some money.
Uh...
Oh!
Oh...
I don't have any money.
SpongeBob!
I want a balloon really, really badly!
Really, really badly!
It's okay, Patrick.
There's lots of money
in the First National Bank of SpongeBob!
Follow me...!
Uh-oh. I'm broke, too.
Maybe we can borrow money from Squidward.
Wait! Instead of borrowing the money
why don't we just borrow the balloon?!
Yeah, like Mr. Krabs!
It's just borrowing, right?
Yeah! And borrowing is okay
as long as we bring it back, right?
Right!
( whistling )
( both laughing )
This is so great!!
We're going to have so much fun!
First we can run with the balloon.
Yeah, then we can go to the beach with the balloon!
Then we can take a bike ride with the balloon.
Then we can go to the movies and the arcade
and the ice rink and the pizza shop!
And the moon and the sky
and under a car, behind a Dumpster.
And the candy shop.
And my backyard.
And in a plane. And over a rock.
And under a hill. And with a whale.
We love borrowing! We love borrowing!
It popped.
Aah...! Aah...!
How are we going to return it now, SpongeBob?
I've got the pieces!
I found the air!
Hurry, put the pieces on!
We popped the balloon!
Ga-hee...!
We can't return it!!
Wha-guh...!
We're thieves!
Hi-yo-hoo...!
We have to confess!
Confess?!
Are you out of your mind?
Do you have any idea
what they do to people like us?
We're not talking about
some dumb mail fraud scheme
or hijacking here.
We stole a balloon!
They're going to lock us up forever!
You're right!
We've just got to keep our heads!
Act normal.
( both gibbering wildly )
Wow! Street performers!
( crowd cheering )
BOTH: It's not working!
BOTH: Aah...!
( both grunt )
Hi there!
BOTH: Aah...
Hey! Don't you want a free balloon?
It's National Free Balloon Day!
( panting ) He's on to us!
( panting ) It's not safe in Bikini Bottom anymore!
We've got to move fast and cover our tracks!
I'm on it, SpongeBob!
( both panting )
Take a last look, Patrick.
We can never go back.
Goodbye, Bikini Bottom.
We've only got ourselves and what we can carry on our backs.
Yup.
( grunting )
We're going to have to travel lighter.
( crickets chirping )
I want to go home.
We can never go home, Pat.
We're wanted men.
We'll spend the rest of our lives running... running...
but at least it's warm around the fire.
Hey, if we're underwater, how can there be a...
I'm scared, SpongeBob!
No more nice warm beds.
Huh?
No more Krabby Patties.
Oh!
No more getting mail!
No more Gary!
No more movies!
No more Squidward!
No more Sandy or Pearl or Mr. Krabs!
No more anything!
I want ice cream!
But it doesn't have to be all bad, right?
I mean... at least we have each other.
Yeah!
And all that running
is good for your buns and thighs.
Ja! Buns and thighs.
And the bitter cold?
It's bracing, isn't it!
Yeah! Maybe being a felon could be... fun!
We can loosen our ties.
Yeah!
And we can fly!
Yeah!
Aah...!
( crash )
Okay... we still can't do that!
But we don't have to shave.
I'm way ahead of you, buddy!
And you get to talk tough!
( gruff voice ): This town ain't big enough
for the two of us.
Let me try!
Uh... hey, punk... heh-heh!
And the best part is...
now that we're felons,
we don't have to return anything we borrow!
BOTH: Yeah!
And we owe it all to you!
What are you talking about?
Taking the balloon was your evil plan.
Oh, I'm nothing but a lot of talk!
You're the one with the sticky fingers.
Aw, Patrick...
you're the best bad influence ever!
You, too!
( both sigh happily )
I wish we had something to eat, though.
Look what I've got!
Rectangles!
Not just any rectangles...
candy bars!
Oh...!
All we have to do is make them last the rest of our lives!
Thanks, SpongeBob!
I think I'll eat it now!
Ah...
I think I'll eat it now.
( crunch )
Ow! Who...?
Where did my candy bar go?
I must have dropped it!
You just ate it, Pat.
It's all over your face.
Where did it go?
I'm going to starve!
Where did it go?
( grunting )
I can't find it!
Where could it possibly be?
Aha!
What?
You stole my candy bar!
No, I didn't.
Oh, so that's how it is, huh?
Once a thief, always a thief.
You ate yours.
This is mine!
You took my only food.
Now I'm going to starve.
Here, Patrick, just take half of mine.
Yours? You mean mine!
Do you want it or what?
I don't want it unless you admit you took it.
This is my candy bar!
Liar liar, plants for hire.
It's pants on fire, Patrick.
Well, you would know... liar.
Well, if you're going to be that way, I'll eat it myself.
You'd better not.
I'm warning you!
Ah...
Don't!
Ah...
Stop it!
Don't!
Oh!
Mmm...
Argh...!
( squeaking )
( screaming )
Uhm... mmm... mmm...
Argh...!
Uhm... uhm...
Aah...!
( slurps )
Mm-hmm...
You're a crazy person!
I should have expected this
after the way you stole that balloon!
Did I, Patrick, did I?
Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?!
Ohh...!
That's it!
Aah... oh-ho...!
First the balloon, now my candy bar...
you're out of control!
I'm...
I'm telling on you.
( gasps )
Not if I tell on you first!
I'll beat you there!
( huffing and panting )
You're going to get in trouble!
No, you... you are!
( huffing and panting )
( talking simultaneously, panting ): He... I... and I... and the balloon...
And the, and the... uh, uh... boom... I...
What can I do for you, boys?
BOTH: We stole a balloon!
( crying )
PATRICK: I'm no good.
SPONGEBOB: We stole a balloon!
What's the problem here?
It appears these two stole a balloon.
What are you going to do to us?
( whispering )
Okay, follow me.
If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
Okay, time's up.
Now get out!
But... but we stole a balloon!
Yeah... on Free Balloon Day.
( both laughing )
How about some lollipops for the road, boys?
Let's vow never to borrow anything
without permission again.
You said it!
All right... which one of you flatfoots stole my lollipop?
( all laughing )
SPONGEBOB: Oh, brother!
( laughter continues )
PATRICK: I mean it.